At this moment I’m in my bed, laptop on my lap, the bedroom door CLOSED, and my husband on duty. Yesterday was "his" day – he spent the day brewing beer and I watched the kids – so today – at least for part of the afternoon – is "mine."
I need this. I need the door shut and no one in here except my cat. And she doesn’t say "mommymommyMOMMYYYYYYYYY" in a whining voice. Ever. Nor does she wake up at 2 in the morning wanting to sleep in my bed. She’s already on it anyway. And she doesn’t try to come into the bathroom while I’m taking a shower.
Last week, two mornings in a row, I was trying to take my shower. Weekday mornings are carefully choreographed chaos. My husband and I each have our roles in getting ourselves and the kids ready to go. I do stuff while he takes his shower, and he does stuff while I take mine.
Friday wasn’t really so bad – just one interruption, but on Thursday, I was taking my shower and all of a sudden there was a banging on the door and a loud boy’s voice yelling "MOMMY CAN YOU LET ME IN BECAUSE I NEED TO GO POTTY!"
We have two bathrooms. I love the fact that we have two bathrooms. It usually prevents this sort of thing from happening. But as luck would have it, my husband was in the bathroom downstairs. I told Alex to hang on a minute and I’d be done. No dice. "MOMMY YOU NEED TO HURRY UP BECAUSE THE PEE IS STARTING TO COME OUT OF ME!"
So fine, I unlocked the door (the bathroom is the ONLY place I ever get to escape) and in he came, bee-lining for the toilet while I tried to hide behind the nearly-see-through shower curtain. He doesn’t need to see Mommy naked. It might frighten him.
So he’s over there peeing, and I’m trying to finish up…at one point he announced "I have a lot of pee!" (yay, good for you) and then I could hear Julia calling for me as she came up the stairs. She wanted to come in too (since Alex was in there and obviously there was some fun being had and she’d been left out of it)…Alex stood there sort of staring at me while I hid behind the water, and I told him – in a sort of frantic I’m-losing-my-mind voice "You can get out now!" He zipped his jammies back up and let Julia in. "Mommy, you takin’ a SHOWER?" Alex left and Julia stared at me, very obviously. Like "good god, don’t tell me I’m going to look like THAT when I get older!" – and she continued to chatter away while I rinsed my hair and shut the water off. I said "Julia, why don’t you go downstairs and get dressed now?" and she said "I just wanna give you a kiss."
Okay. I’m putty in their hands when they say stuff like that. So I stuck my head out from behind the shower curtain. Julia very obviously took a good luck at the rest of me before giving me a kiss, and as she was finally leaving the room, she said "I love you Mommy!" and I said "I love you, too, Julia." And then she said – and I don’t know for sure if there was sarcasm in it but in my paranoid state I sure heard it – "I love your chest."
Oh yeah? Just wait til you nurse a couple of babies, missy. Then come talk to me.