You know, I love my kids. 

They are beautiful and fascinating and funny and smart and fun. 

But they’re kids, and they can wear on a person. 

And that person would be me. 

And there are days when I think if I hear another ridiculous shrieky squabbly "he – no, she – no, he – no, she"-fest I will just gouge my ear drums with sharpened popsicle sticks. 

And I make this known. 

And for a while, there is silence, peace, and harmony. 

And then I hear the soft but intense tones of a dispute over something – who had that book first…who gets to play with spiderman…who gets to hold the remote…who gets to sit on the couch. 

And then it builds…and builds…and soon I hear it – a high-pitched, primal, animal-with-its-leg-in-a-trap screechy, eye-popping scream that threatens to weave into my head through one ear, chew up what’s left of my brain and then scoot out the other ear. 

And I take a breath so I can holler effectively at the kids —

And then I realize that this horrible sound is actually coming from me.

Who is this crazy lady I see in my mirror? 

And why do her eyes spin in opposite directions like that?

And when was the last time she had her eyebrows waxed? 

Too long ago.

4 thoughts on “Observation

  1. I almost feel guilty laughing so hard at your plight, but you made it sound very amusing–which I’m betting you did on pourpose. I’m sure your mother told you that there’d be days like this when you became a stay at home mom;^)

  2. Oh I definitely wanted it to sound amusing. Because really, it is pretty amusing.

    And no – my mother never said a thing about days like this – apparently my sister and I were perfect and trouble-free. Either that or she’s a patient and cagey woman who wanted a good laugh at me later in life. We all have rather warped senses of humor in this bloodline!

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