Ham, Ham, Ham, Ham and Ham

Last night while dinner was in the works, Julia asked if she could have a slice of cheese.  It was still a while til dinner would be ready, so I said sure.  She had two slices, in fact.  And I told her that was IT until dinner.

A little while later, Alex was hungry and wanted a snack, too, since Julia had had one.  He doesn't like sliced (American processed cheese product) cheese, so we went back and forth on what he wanted and what I said he could have.  Finally, we agreed on a couple slices of ham.  And I told him that was IT until dinner.

He headed downstairs and I went to check on the rice.

Almost immediately Julia came up the stairs, and before she could say a word, I said "No, Julia, you can't have any ham, you just had cheese.  Dinner will be ready soon."

Well.  That didn't suit her at all.

She launched into a demo of all her best whining and begging and writhing around on the floor and pleading and being angry and demanding and more whining and more writhing and grabbing my leg.

And through it all, she kept repeating, "I just want some HAAAAAAAAAAAM!"

Apart from the whining, it was kind of funny.

I stuck to my guns and kept telling her dinner would be ready soon.


On and on.

At one point, frustrated because I obviously wasn't taking her seriously enough, she hollered, from her position on the floor, "Fine!  Then you can't be my MOMMY any MORE!"

And I couldn't help it.  I actually shouted "YAY!!!" Just to be funny.

She didn't think it was funny.  Just one more example of how thoughtless and uncaring a mommy I was.  Her tears got fatter and she started crying.  But it wasn't because I seemed glad to not be her mommy.  No.  I told her I'd always be her mommy, no matter what, so she might as well get used to it.  And she wailed.  "But I want a piece of HAAAAAAAAAAAM!" 


"But if I say 'May I please'????"

"That's very polite, sweetie, but no, you can't have any ham."

She scooted out of my lap (I'd sat down on the floor to hug her in my motherly way) and began writhing again. 

I stood up and checked on the tofu and eggplant mixture I was cooking.

And then it came.

Her crescendo of emotion.

She tore her pink shirt off her angry little body and SLAMMED it on the floor, and as she did that, she roared


We locked eyes for a minute, hers glared darkly at mine.

I looked down at the pink wrinkled mass on the floor.

And I bravely said no again.

When dinner was finally ready, I gave her two slices of ham with her dinner.

She ate those and nothing else.

2 thoughts on “Ham, Ham, Ham, Ham and Ham

  1. go jayne go! I just read this out loud to Dennis, who is generally prone to a gentle smirk -actually chuckled and laughed! xoxo Amalia, Ginger and Dennis

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