Inspired. Nudged. Kicked in the Pants.

My house looks like some giant 4-year old picked it up, turned it upside down, shook it a few times, and then dropped it on the floor.  A bit later that giant 4-year old's mom tripped over it, cursed, and set the house right-side up again.

We all weren't home when it happened, otherwise we'd have concussions and broken bones and all that.

And I'm sitting here INTENDING to type some long-overdue posts…I've got a whole mess of recipes and photos to post, and yet…and yet…I can't concentrate.

That pink electric Barbie guitar over on the floor, for instance.  Where my little rockin' baby girl left it.  And the knocked-over stack of construction paper in the other room.  The kittens did that.  And the dishes in the sink.  The 58 cookbooks on my little work table in the kitchen.

A little bit here, a little bit there.  It's distracting me.  I tried to ignore it.  Tried to say, well, I'll type for a few hours and then I'll clean until it's time to go get the kids.  So I sat myself down with my coffee and my laptop and started.  Except that first I checked email and submitted a photo to Food Gawker and PhotoGrazing and Tastespotting…and while I was at Tastespotting I clicked on a photo that linked to this post about food photography (it's a terrific post – go read it if you are at all interested in improving your food photos) and so I sat here and read the post and slouched lower and lower because lately I don't think my food photos have been all that good…and so I started thinking, yes, I need to make some improvements tdo the way I do things, don't I…okay, so I bookmarked that post.

And then I figured that since I was already procrastinating (posting a photo of one of the cats doesn't count), I should (should!) check my Google Reader…and there was this post by Susan about – of all people I should encounter on my day of procrastination and self-loathing – Martha Stewart.  She has a blog.  And grumpily I clicked on the link so I could check out Martha's blog.


I admit that my initial thoughts were not charitable.

And that's odd, for me, because I have always been a Martha Stewart fan.  Not an "OHMYGODIT'SMARTHASTEWART!" kind of fan.  But more of an "oh, that's a cool idea" kind of fan.  Like, if she was bringing her dogs to the vet and I was bringing my cats to the vet (and we had the same vet), and we were sitting in the waiting room with all our pets barking and hissing at each other, I figure we could share a laugh about the situation.  And take pictures of our fighting pets and then frame them in clever hand-crafted gilt-edged frames we'd fashion from accululated trimmed pet toenails and pine cones.  And then make cookies.

So anyway, I went to Martha's blog – The Martha Blog – and my initial thought (seeing's how I'm in this grumpy mood already) was something like "Oh great, she's got a blog, TOO???  Doesn't she have ENOUGH stuff she's great at?  She's got to go and have a blog, now, so that I feel even more inadequate than I already do????  In my messy house????  With my bad food photos?????  Gee, thanks, Martha." 

And then, because I am a glutton for punishment, I went and read a recent post entitled "Come Visit My Blog Studio at My Home."  And several words in that blog post title stood out.  (Actually, they didn't stand out, they turned away, dropped trou and mooned me.  No, really, they did.)  Those words were:  Blog.  Studio.  at.  My.  Home.  Studio?  Well THAT must be my problem.  I only have a laptop and a juice-stained loveseat.  No wonder I'm not popular!!!!

Anyway, I took a look at the images of her Blog Studio at Her Home.  It's a converted goat shed (darn, I just sold mine at the yard sale) that she's decorated in the Shaker style.  (Ah, my Rococo-influenced goat shed interior was probably too distracting for me to get any work done in anyway…much like the SloppyHomeWithChildren style in my house.  Those Shakers sure knew how to design for maximum productivity in a Blog Studio at Your Home.  Who'da thunk?)

Anyway.  In her glorious converted goat shed Blog Studio at Her Home, Martha has, well, first of all, lots of uncluttered space.  Two computers.  A staff.  A great wall of blog ideas.  And a really good paper trimmer.

And me?  I have a blood blister on my left hand from one of the crappy banquet tables we used during the yard sale to enticingly display some of our rejected posessions.

Does Martha have yard sales?  I wonder if she's got an extra goat shed she doesn't need….

And you know, as I write all of this, I do it with affection.  Or something like that.  I could probably have at least a small Blog Studioette somewhere In My Home.  And I could take better food photos.  

I just need to change the style in my home from SloppyWithChildren to something simpler.  Less cluttered.  I need to tap into my innerMartha, I guess.

Or I need to get a really good paper trimmer.  That might just do the trick… 

10 thoughts on “Inspired. Nudged. Kicked in the Pants.

  1. On Martha’s show recently, she did a show about blogging.

    I am almost positive that she said that she takes the pictures and has a staff that writes for her.

    So, I am not entirely sure that “she” actually writes the blogs.

    Hope that helps. I know what will get that juice stain out too.

  2. Jayne, come on!

    Martha eats your dust when it comes to blogging, and you know it!

    That said the Halloween edition of Martha Stewart Living finally came out, and I may have fallen upon it with cries of joy. I adore Halloween crafting!

  3. my mother likes to say “Martha be damned”, whenever something turns out good, or not so good – this comment pretty much can be worked to fit into any context.

  4. oh GOD, jayne! I nearly peed myself reading this. You are like, my favorite blogger, and you do EVERYTHING. martha has nada on you. NADA. plus, she’s OLD. and has a staff.
    and she’s OLD.
    and i bet her butt is wrinkly.
    So there.

  5. Jayne, really now, at least you have a house. I’m trying to do all this on a frickin’ boat for cryin’ out loud!
    Seriously though, your pictures are great, always have been, always will be.

  6. ah, but you ARE popular! on top of everything else, i doubt there’d be any schadenfreude if something bad happened to you — fans and friends would crawl out of the woodwork to help — unlike what happened to She Who Has A Blog Studio.

  7. You are 1000% better than Martha, you are a real person with a real life so don’t ever feel less than that fake more-money-than-god woman!

    And I think you are hilarious

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