Alex

Apparently He Didn’t Read the Fine Print

Lately I've started writing down the funny (or bizarre) things my kids say because frankly, my memory is overcrowded with trivia and commercial jingles from my childhood, and there's no room for new stuff.  I can recite the whole "Challenge Yahtzee" commercial from who knows when- the one done by Tony Randall and Jack Klugman as their "Odd Couple" characters Felix and Oscar, but if Alex said something funny half an hour ago, don't ask me what it was because like I said, there's just no room for it. 

Anyway, I was rearranging some piles of stuff on my overcrowded "office" work table in the kitchen – piles consisting of cookbooks, kids' homework and artwork (LOTS of that), holiday catalogs, bills, recipe ideas, and those coupons the registers spit out at the grocery store for things that seem to have no connection to anything you just purchased.  While I was rearranging said piles, I came across a piece of paper on which I'd scribbled one of Alex's recent utterances.

I should also make a point of writing a brief synopsis of the situation, because I have no idea what prompted this, but I know I am safe in saying that I must have asked/told/ordered him to do something that was clearly NOT as much fun as what he'd been doing previously, and clearly I was infringing on his life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.  

I think I'd asked him to clear the table before dinner.

As he trudged to his doom, he muttered "This is NOT what I expected."

Oh, and, by the way…

Felix:  What's in the box?

Oscar:  None of your business.

Felix:  Aw, come on, tell me!

Oscar:  Challenge Yahtzee!

Felix:  Challenge Yahtzee?

Oscar:  Yeah, it's a fast moving and exciting game, where up to four players compete off the same rolls of the five dice.'

Felix:  Is this gambling?

Oscar:  No it's not gambling – you compete for score points by the way you fill in your card."

Felix:  First, I go for the ones, then, I go for the – "

Oscar:  You gotta go with the dice!  You gotta be bold!  Innovate!

Felix:  I'd rather be neat.

Oscar:  Challenge Yahtzee.  Another great Yahtzee game from E. S. Lowe.

5 thoughts on “Apparently He Didn’t Read the Fine Print

  1. "This is NOT what I expected." – Priceless!

    I have a small notebook that I have written down quotes and conversations from the kids for the past 4 years. They love to look through it and reread the funny things that they have said.

  2. Hi! I'm a lurker. =) Just wanted to say I enjoy all the kid stories.

    Also, I know what you mean about childhood commercials/jingles! Well, not so much me, but my brother. He still remembers all the CANDY he's consumed, and all the tv jingles and cartoon theme songs. It's apparently been BURNED into his mind.

    =D

  3. At the vet hospital where I worked for 3 years, we had a notebook in the back where we wrote down amusing quotes by clients and employees. The things people say (& do)!

    One of my favorites is the (brief) story behind the piece of dog kibble taped to the front of the notebook: A client brought in the kibble and said she wanted to buy more of that kind of food.

    …we sell about 10 different kinds, all of which look the same!

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