A little while ago, Julia came into the living room, pulled off her socks, dropped them on the floor, and kept going.
I said "Um, Julia? What are you doing? Those don't belong there."
She said, without looking, "I…am a MEN!" (she has a very stuffy nose, so it sort of sounded like "I am a bed," but that isn't the point of all this. I just thought I'd give you the audio.)
"I," she said in a stately manner, "am a MEN. MEN don't leave their socks in their room…the leave them…on…the…floor!"
"Go put your socks in the hamper." I have enough MEN to deal with, I don't need a new one.
At this point she switched to her "old man" voice, which I can't describe but it's uncanny and never fails to make me laugh, unfortunately.
And she said, "I…am a MEN!" with great finality.
I just looked at her.
She picked up the socks and as she stomped away, her little old man voice wheezed back at me, fed up with my annoying feminine requests, "Okay, okay…WOMAN!"
I don't know about her.
I don't know why she was saying "men" instead of "man."
I don't know what the heck she meant about men not leaving their socks in their rooms – I find all sorts of socks in the rooms upstairs. But she got the part about leaving them on the floors correct.
I don't know where this old man voice of hers came from, but honestly? It cracks me right up. I am powerless in the face of it.
She makes up songs and sings them in this strained, wheezy, off-key old man voice, and they are priceless. Her greatest hit is a little song that goes like this:
"You're loving in my loving heart/you're loving in my loving heart/you're loving in my loving heart/you're loving in my loving…heart."
Only she develops some strange accent when she sings, so it comes out sounding more like this:
"Yuh lovin' in my lovin' hawwwwwwwwt"
The thing is, she will not sing this, or do her old man voice, on command, so I haven't been able to share this treat with many people. She gets giggly-shy, and hours are spent with her saying "Okay, okay, I'm gonna do it…" and then she clears her throat and swallows…and runs out of the room shrieking "I CAN'T DO IT!"
She only seems comfortable in this alter ego when she is at home, surrounded by just the few of us. Unfortunately, Bill doesn't find it quite as hysterically funny as I do, so if he's around, the old man doesn't really get to linger.
Anyway…just felt like sharing all that. Carry on.