Fun · Julia · Melons

The Healthiest Cupcakes Ever

As I indicated in my last post, Julia had a birthday coming up.  In addition to a party at our house, I'd also planned to make something for her to bring in and share with her class.

When it was Alex's birthday in kindergarten, he asked me to make brownies.  I asked Julia what she wanted, and she said she'd like cupcakes.  White cupcakes with pink frosting.  I suggested we have a couple of colors of frosting (thinking of the boys in the class), and she agreed with that.  So all set.  A batch of cupcakes, some frosting and some food coloring and I'd be all set.

And then I happened to be talking to another mom with a daughter whose birthday is soon, and we moved onto the topic of bringing in goodies for the class.  I told her I was making cupcakes, and she said "Um, you might want to check on that." 

Apparently the school did not want me (or anyone) bringing cupcakes to school on my child's birthday.

You know, because the occasional birthday treat would make every child obese.

Now, I am a fan of all the efforts in this country to provide kids with healthier lunch options at schools. 


I also don't think the schools themselves, or their cafeterias, are to blame for our country's obesity problem.  I think schools are a convenient target, and yes, there are a lot of offerings in the cafeteria that aren't on the healthy end of the spectrum.  But I also believe that parents are the ones ultimately responsible for what their young children eat, just like I believe that parents are responsible for…well…for parenting their children.  My husband is a teacher.  We are parents.  We know what our responsibilities are AS PARENTS, and we don't expect teachers to do that job for us.  We chose to have kids, and in doing so we accepted ALLLLLLLLLL the responsibilities – and joys and everything else, yes – that go along with that. 

But anyway.  Back to my baking roadblock.

I double checked with Julia's teacher, and, yes, it was true.  I had to bring in some sort of healthy treat for her to share with her friends.

But the thing is, it wasn't so much what the treat was, in my mind, but the whole festive aspect of said treat.

And I wanted her treat to look festive.  You know, like white cupcakes with a rainbow of frostings would have looked.

Dammit (sorry Mom, I'm saying a bad word), I wanted to make Julia some cupcakes!

So I did.

And here's how.

First, I bought 3 canteloupes, 2 honeydew melons, and a huge watermelon wedge.

Then I got out my little cupcake papers and my round cookie cutters and selected two cutters – one that was about as small as the bottom of the cupcake paper, and one a little larger.  I also picked out a round one with a fluted edge.

Next, I got out my big knife and peeled a honeydew.

Then I took the larger round cutter and pressed it into the melon.


I got 6 circles out of one honeydew.  One each on opposite ends, and four around the middle.  I wasn't worried if they overlapped inside the melon, just as long as I had complete circles on the outside.


Next, I peeled away all the extra melon around the circles (and put that in a big bowl for me), and here's what I was left with.


Kind of interesting…makes me think of a gas mask, sort of.  Anyway, then I gently separated the circles and scooped the innards into yet another bowl – this one was going to be for our compost bin.

Here's one of the melon circles.  I also kind of evened off the edges on the underside.  I did this with both honeydew melons and ended up with a dozen large circles.  I also realized I hadn't been thinking right, and since there are more than 12 mouths to feed in Julia's class, I'd need a few more.  Good thing I had lots of melon.

I peeled a canteloupe and, with the smaller cutter this time, cut out as many circular pieces as I could.  I think I got ten from a single melon.

I scooped out the seeds and stringy part from these and set the orange circles in another container. 


Here, by the way, are the cutters.  The small one is 2 7/16 inches in diameter (hey, if it was 2 1/2 I'd have said so, but I measured it and I wanted to be exact here), and the larger circle is 3 5/16 inches in diameter. 

I kept cutting large and small circles until all the canteloupe and honeydew were used up and I had more circles than I'd need for Julia's class.  I wanted extra in case I broke any. 

I also scooped out the inside of the larger circles so that the inner diameter was large enough to fit over the outer diameter of the smaller circle.

Bet you never realized how much mathematical precision is required to construct a cupcake out of fruit. 

I also scooped out some of the inside of the smaller circles.  I'll tell you why in a minute.

Here are two circles, a large and small one.  I just wanted to make sure they'd fit together in some semblance of cupcakeness.  And they did.


Now, why'd I scoop out some of the smaller circle?

Well, right as I'd finished cutting out all my circles, Julia came into the kitchen looking for something to eat.

And that it hit me. 

"Julia, do you like this orange kind of melon?"


"How about this green kind?"

"No, I only like watermelon."


"And blueberries."


Now, I'd bought the watermelon because when I was telling a friend of mine about this cupcake idea, she suggested making "cherries" for the tops of the cupcakes out of watermelon.  Pretty cool idea, right?  But then, after realizing/remembering that Julia doesn't like other melon (much), I was glad I'd bought a large piece of watermelon.  I cut the big wedge into thick slices and cut out some large and small circles, and used the rest of it for little round watermelon cherries.

I was also glad I had blueberries in the freezer.  I thawed those in a small colander so the extra liquid could drain away overnight.

And the next day I assembled my cupcakes.

Oh – and I took that fluted cutter that I mentioned earlier, and cut a (sort of) decorative edge around all the larger circles.  I'd also carved those larger circles so they were kind of rounded, like frosting. 

I'd sort of like to make these again, by the way.  Now that I've done it once, I have other decorative ideas I'd like to try out…ways to add more texture to the "frosting" layer.

But that's for another time.  Or for you out there, if you decide to make these some time.

And now, back to our program.

Here's everything for the first cupcake:  blueberries, bottom circle, top circle, "cherry," and a drinking straw.


First, I put some blueberries in all the bottom circles.  I apologize for the blurry photos to follow.  I was rushing, or my hand was slippery on the camera, or I'm incompetent.  Take your pick.

Next, I stood the straw straight up in the middle of the bottom melon, and pushed the end of the straw right into the melon, so the straw could stand up unassisted.  (Yes, I'm anthropomorphosizing a plastic straw.  It's fun.)


Then I centered the upper circle over the straw and base, and gently, carefully, pressed the straw through the melon and brought the melon down to sit on top of the base.

Then I trimmed the straw so it was maybe a third of an inch or so above the surface of the top melon.  Enough for the watermelon to cling to, but not so much that the straw would poke through.


And then I topped the whole thing off with the watermelon "cherry."

And voila!  The healthiest cupcake in the world!

I assembled all the rest of them and then placed each cupcake in a paper cupcake thingy, and put them all in two cake pans to transport to the school.  I mixed and matched melons – there was one lone cupcake that was all watermelon, and that was for Julia.


And so, in the end, Julia was able to bring cupcakes to school to share with her friends.

So there.

The end.

10 thoughts on “The Healthiest Cupcakes Ever

  1. Clearly your daughter’s inevitable aging has made you insane.
    That said, I can’t imagine what it would feel like (in terms of awesomeness) having you as a mom. I’m so jealous of your kids.

  2. I would take these awesome cupcakes over the cakey kind any day! (Really.)
    The watermelon cherry was a very nice touch. 🙂

  3. Your “cupcakes” are gorgeous!! Now nobody can bitch at you that their kids are vegans or suffering from celiac disease and can’t eat your treats. Genius.

    Um. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just make them cheese? :0)

  4. Jayne you never cease to amaze me! Those cupcakes are awesome! Yeah it’s a shame what is going on with the schools anymore – when I was a kid if you *didn’t* bring cupcakes or something people started talking, but it also wasn’t as common for kids to have serious food allergies when I was growing up.

    The problem isn’t that the schools don’t want to provide healthy food (certainly they did back when my parents were in school and somewhat when I was in school) but their budgets won’t allow for a menu consisting of all healthy, organic, fresh (etc) items – everything is pre-packaged and sent off to the schools to be reheated. (At least that’s how it is here in NY)

    I think there could be some better choices made (instead of french fries or tater tots they could do brown rice or something like that) but ultimately it comes down to the school’s budget and what’s available. But, if a parent takes issue with school lunches, the solution is simple – pack a lunch that is appropriate for the child. I agree that parents sometimes do put too much on the teachers to “raise” their children for them.

    And I also agree – it really is up the parents to teach their children how to eat properly. Children spend around 6 hours a day in school learning important things like reading, math and science (and a plethora of other things) and people complain about cutting physical education programs and then when their child comes home they let them sit infront of the computer, tv or whatever until bedtime. Long gone are the days when you see kids outside riding bikes, or playing street hockey – it’s all *too dangerous*. (I hear that a lot up here)

    I’m glad to see that your kids are out and about helping in the gardens, playing sports and doing things outside or are active inside.

    Anyway – that’s enough of my little rant. Your cupcakes are lovely aned I’m glad that you got to send a special treat with Julia for her special day. 🙂

  5. So clever. I’m usually the person that has to deliver the horrible news that the cupcakes can’t be given out at lunch or during school…. but we can hold on to them and let everyone have one as they leave at the end of the day.

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