Random notes of the morning…
Yes, it’s snowing. Again.
We’ve got all sorts of stormy excitement scheduled here, as you probably know (and may be experiencing yourself) if you watch the news or are in the path of this same storm or storms.
I’ve lost track of how many storms are hitting this time, maybe it’s two.
Either way, we’ve got a mélange of wintry mixes in store – snow, sleet, freezing rain, and rain. Don’t think we’ll be making snowmen out of this stuff.
I’m just wondering where we’ll put it all.
Didn’t sleep well last night. I worked yesterday…and, without going into details, because this blog really isn’t about work, it was stressful. Quite stressful. You know, like trying to be in five places at once busy. And, you know, multi-tasking is something I certainly can do. I enjoy it sometimes – it’s fun to juggle.
But I have come to realize that it’s only fun when you feel competent and confident about your ability to do all the different tasks you’ve got to juggle.
Not so much fun when you’re still hesitant and unsure.
Balls get dropped.
But you pick them up and try again, because, well, that’s what you have to do. You can’t just drop them all and go home. Not when you’re a grown up.
And to be honest, at one point in my life, I would have wanted to do just that. It would have been a struggle to pick the balls up and keep juggling. I would have tried hard not to cry. And I might possibly have lost that little battle.
Oh, it was not fun, at that point in time.
I’d like to think it’s my maturity and life experience and different perspective that enable me to keep going, and I suppose some of it is, but some of it is probably the antidepressant I’m on, which somehow has mostly disabled the crying mechanism in my psyche. Much as I might feel like losing it, I can’t. The pipes are dry.
So I worked my way through everything, kind of marveling at my ability to tell myself I’m new, I’m not perfect, it’s okay, the world will not come to an end because I make a mistake.
And then, at the end of the day, shortly before I went home, one of my supervisors nearly unlocked the floodgate.
He said “You did really well today.”
Now why did he have to go and say a thing like that?
I blinked a few times and said thank you and fortunately did not dissolve in a puddle of gratitude and relief.
I’m such a goofball.
Anyway, all this stuff was on my mind through the night, I am sure, because I had all sorts of wacky dreams and when Julia came into our room around 2 something in the morning (she couldn’t find Pinky), and I brought her back to bed, looked for Pinky (couldn’t find Pinky – Julia insisted she’d brought the elephant to bed…in the morning, after breakfast, Alex found Pinky. On the loveseat. In the living room.) I had a sharp, splitting headache, too.
One of my dreams, for example, was that I was supposed to make a birthday cake for one of Julia’s friends, only I’d forgotten all about it until three hours before the party, so my plan was to buy some already made cakes at the grocery store, scrape the frosting off them, and re-decorate them myself.
There were other dreams, and in my own dreams I was telling someone about my awful headache and why I thought I had it. And who knows what else – I don’t remember anything else. That’s probably just as well.
And so here it is, Tuesday, and I don’t work today.
And it’s so nice.
I have a ton of things to do – unexciting housework – dishes, laundry, the litter box, taking the trash out, tidying up.
Nice, quiet, mindless chores.
I’ve made cheese again! Post on that is coming.
I’m thinking of making an apple strudel today or tomorrow. I have phyllo dough, and I bought apples. I think it would go over well here.
Other things to do…
Work on Bill’s quilt.
Help Julia work on her next quilt.
Help Alex make beds for the cats (his idea).
Soak in a hot bath.
Make the next French Fridays with Dorie recipe.
And that’s about where things stand this morning.
I’ll be back.
I’ve got to move laundry into the dryer and then go wash some dishes.
Ahhh. It’s nice to be doing household stuff.