Observations While My Hand Is Like This

*  At rest, my right hand looks like a Barbie doll hand, minus the long slender fingers and tiny but perfect manicure.  If Barbie had a short, square-handed twin, that would be me.

*  With that immobile hand, I can now do the Royal Wave pretty well.  

*  I can drive, but everything leading up to the car in forward motion has become a circus act.

*  Yesterday I needed to do something, so, of all things, I decided to do the dishes. At first I thought I'd just empty and reload the dishwasher, but that wasn't satisfying, because there were still all the pots and pans and utensils taking up space. Things I ordinarily require two hands to do. Then it occurred to me that there are people who permanently only have one hand, and presumably they do the dishes, so I should make it work. And I did! All I left in the sink were two sheet pans that needed to soak. And I was very proud of myself until I realized that hey, the only reason I'm having surgery on my hands is so OTHER people will have to do those chores. 

But it gets boring NOT doing things. And overdoing things just leaves my current working hand on fire. So I am trying to find a middle ground.

*  I really want to crochet. I have never participated in a CAL – Crochet-a-long – but I really want to do this one because even though pinks and purples aren't my thing, I love sweet peas, the pattern looks fun, and I only have at least 39 unfinished projects, so why not make it an even 40?

*  When I brush my teeth, left-handed, my right hand goes up and then moves up and down while the left is navigating my teeth, kind of the way I used to open my mouth encouragingly when spoon feeding my kids when they were babies.

*  There's a part of me that is afraid of all this time off with not much I can do. It leaves my mind with a lot of down time, and that's when my Anxieties like to slip in. They are not new ones, so they know their way around my head. They know where to hide, and wait, and gather together behind the sofa and then jump out and yell "Surprise!" Only that image makes them sound fun. I'm sure that is how they see themselves, but really they slither in with the shadows and whisper and hiss in my ears.   

At least I recognize them for what they are.

*  I watched Bruce Springsteen's one man show on Netflix the other day and I bawled my eyes out at times. Very cathartic.  

*  We have no ornaments on our Christmas tree this year because the first day the tree was inside, in the tree stand, Otis tried to climb it a bunch of times and got high enough to throw the balance off and yay! water everywhere! So the tree spent a few days outside and then we set it up and anchored it with 60 lb test fishing line from one end of the (heavy) curtain rod, looped around the trunk, to the other end of the curtain rod.  We put white lights on the tree and that's it. Otis curls up – actually both cats curl up – on the blanket we are using as a tree skirt, and all is calm, all is upright.

Okay, that's about enough excitement for one day. 

I'll talk to you again soon.


One thought on “Observations While My Hand Is Like This

  1. I tried to teach myself crochet, but didn’t get very far. That link you shared makes me want to try again. 🙂
    I’m sorry your hand is painful. I hope it heals quickly and well and you can resume normal activity soon.

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